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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Evelyn's LiveJournal:

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Monday, October 29th, 2012
9:41 pm
Panic

I think I was having a panic attack

(nobody reads this)

Thursday, October 25th, 2012
11:24 am
Note to self
No more fruit punch rockstars. Its the only one that doesnt taste like shit, but yeah. It does bad shit to me. Monster Im sorry I left you for a rockstar on sale.

(nobody reads this)

Monday, October 15th, 2012
12:01 pm
Ouch

I do Stupid things

(nobody reads this)

2:45 am
Oh the pain.

I think to myself. Wow this pain sucks. I'm a little scared. I threw up because of it. I don't know if I should go to the hospitel or not.

(nobody reads this)

Saturday, October 13th, 2012
2:57 pm
It's always me

It's always me that gets fucked over at work. I am closing every fucking night I work. Every fucking night. I point this out and he tells me Im the only one with an open schedule. That is such bull shit. I have a close schedule. One that was aproved long ago, but they said a couple a months ago I cant have anymore.

(nobody reads this)

Wednesday, October 10th, 2012
8:54 pm
"I use to be somebody"
That line use to/still does get stuck in my head when I get depressed. I really dont know why. I never was.

(nobody reads this)

Monday, October 8th, 2012
6:30 pm
Blah

Now I have double pain. Yay me

(nobody reads this)

11:56 am
It's back


Well just when you think it's going away. It waves at you and says hey buddy I'm over here. Oh well it's just more change.

(nobody reads this)

Tuesday, October 2nd, 2012
1:03 am
Can't sleep
It's going to be one of these night. I guess.

Current Mood: depressed

(nobody reads this)

12:24 am
I got to knuckle down and just be ok with this

But the star struck girl is already somebody I miss.

(nobody reads this)

Monday, October 1st, 2012
8:14 pm
Fears

Well I think I know what one of the biggest reasons are now. I knew better. I knew that if something is awesome it will soon change. If somebody tells me to be myself to not be all myself. then you get to comfortable. You forgot you are not part of the norm. You never have been and never will be. Even if you tell them that. They will tell you thats ok. I love you for you. Then when you do something that's not to their norm you freak them out and they put up walls on you. Then it's a painful reminder of why you don't open up with people. Why you have all this sadness. Why you are a half empty class girl. Nobody to blame, but yourself. This is one of the reasons why you live in fear and don't want to get to know new people. It took the people I know that loves me as me years to get there. So why did I think that somebody I only known for a couple of months would except me as I am?

(nobody reads this)

Friday, September 28th, 2012
1:09 pm
It's funny

It's funny how I look on the past with happiness. When we all know I was not happy.

(nobody reads this)

Thursday, September 27th, 2012
7:09 pm
Different
Things are definitely different now. I find myself afraid when I wasn't before. Maybe things will get back to the way it was. Maybe not. I don't know.

(nobody reads this)

Wednesday, September 26th, 2012
1:49 pm
I'm so excited :)

My friend just got a place! I'm so glad I could help her find it :).

(nobody reads this)

Monday, September 24th, 2012
8:56 pm
...
I do self destructing things.

(nobody reads this)

8:54 pm
Living in the past

I hope the drum circles are still going on. I havent been to one in years. I feel like I need it. With all this change going on. It would be nice to do something I use to love. Something that makes me feel. A feeling I cant put into words.

(nobody reads this)

8:43 pm
Boundaries


I dont like them. I feel like they are walls people put up. I dont put them on people and I dont like them being put on me. Whenever somebody says that all I can think is this is the begening of the end.

(nobody reads this)

2:06 pm
More Change

Well once again I seen to have issue with it. Alex just told me when his phone is up he is going to get off my plan and get on Shanna's. It's not really that big of a deal. It's just idk. He would have been on it for like almost 10 years. It's going to be different a little. Change is just happening all at once to me. I just hope there is not more for the rest of this month lol.

(nobody reads this)

Sunday, September 23rd, 2012
8:00 pm
change

I know things change. I know it was going to happen. I just didnt know it was going to happen like this. We use to talk all the time. Now I really hear from you. I know that we cant hang out like we use to. I knew that was coming. I was fine with that, but this I wasnt expecting. Its funny now that I feel I need a friend. The kind of friends we were. She is not there. We had such a deep friendship. I loved it. I miss it. I will get use it tho. You cant judge people for not being like you. People are different. When things change you just have to go with it. Or you are just left behind, to dwell in the past.

(nobody reads this)

Tuesday, April 19th, 2011
7:04 pm
It's been a min
Once again got a crush on a girl. This time is slightly different. But friends we must be.

(1 whoa, somebody care | nobody reads this)

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